Friday, May 30, 2003
Everyone, meet
Tyrone.
If anyone would like to adopt this cat for me for my birthday, feel free. Bahaha.. TYRONE, man. It's just too funny. I love ironic felines.
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Thursday, May 29, 2003
I'm typing up an essay for my aunt on medicinal marjiuana use (for a courses she's taking for nursing), and I had to giggle after typing this:
"After some experimenting, George discovered that if he prepares dried marijuana in food, preferably brownies, it has a lasting effect and adds extra food value."
Teehee.
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The Payroll Gods smile upon me today. My benefits have kicked in, and I got paid...
twice. If I was still working at United Way, I would for sure get right on notifying someone. But, I'm working for a large company now, and I'm sure they will find the error and correct it. At least, I hope they would. I told Sarah I'd give it a day and see what comes of it all. I'll let you know.
Any suggestions either way? Am I an evil person?
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So, I realized I'm not getting any fan mail because I didn't give my fans the proper outlet for their admiration!! So, thanks to
Sarah, I now have a handy-dandy comment system up and running. I hope you all use it - even the people who I don't even know who I'm sure come by now and again (case in point, I spent a good hour yesterday reading the blog of some high school kid in Alabama).
Enjoy!
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Wednesday, May 28, 2003
Hey,
this is HIGHLY educational.
It's funny, I have yet to receive any fan mail about my poem. You guys suck.
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Tuesday, May 27, 2003
Ok, some of you may know the sordid details of this, but some may not. Simply, instead of a kayak or a camera, I'm getting a practical, boring mattress for my birthday, from my parents. My old mattress is OLD. It's gone through 3 members of my family, but now it's time to respectively retire it.
Also, I am by NO MEANS a poet. I just have too much time on my hands.
Ode to a bed
Squishy underneath my skin
Can't believe the state you're in
Many nights I've slept on you
Even when I had the flu.
A hiding place for toys and drugs
And sometimes a disgusting bug.
Your springs are worn with eager use,
Never had a guy named Bruce.
No bleach can wash away your stains
Your tiny squeaks expose your pains
But now youre off to mattress heaven
And now this new bed I must christen.
Any volunteers?
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Monday, May 26, 2003
Okay, I'm a big geek. But there are some
even bigger geeks than me out there.
Even so, it's pretty cool.
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Ok, ok . . .
Five GOOD THINGS About Working with Seniors
1) Chivalry is not dead for old people. All the men open doors for me.
2) I get called "dear" at least four times a day.
3) With 800 seniors in this building, I'm fairly certain that at least a few are going to remember my birthday.
4) You can hug the women and flirt with the men - and it's okay.
5) There
is wisdom in age.
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Thursday, May 22, 2003
Feel like watching furry animals suffer? Try
Happy Tree Friends!
This pretty much sums up my opinion of
Matrix:Reloaded I think they should change the name to Matrix: Refunded.
Speaking of, does anyone know a decent, reliable way to download films?
Someone (you know who you are) asked me to download that god-forsaken movie. I risked getting fired and left Kazaa to download it for me throughout the night. I get back to work this morning only to find out I had downloaded a bad bootleg copy of Analyze That. Analyze This was bad enough. Anyway. I'll keep trying. Just know I'm expecting some major karmic retribution.
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Thursday, May 15, 2003
Five MORE things I've learned from working with seniors:
6) No, really. They couldn't give a rat's ass about what you're saying. In fact, some of them have begun talking OVER me.
7) Seniors smell funny. A lot of them smell faintly of bum. Not
a bum. Just.. bum.
8) People don't change. Those bitches you went to high school with? They'll still be bitches when you're 85.
9) Don't condescend old people. Especially your parents. They know you're doing it, and you look like an ass.
10) "Twoonie Tuesday" at KFC is like Christmas to them.
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Monday, May 12, 2003
Just to prove point number 4 of the previous post - I went to visit my grandfather in Saint John this weekend.
And lookee here. It's the same colour and everything! I must say, I feel a tinge of guilt. For about a year or two now, I've avoided going up to visit when I could, because, frankly, my grandfather's a wanker. He's a mean, selfish, man. He's essentially turned his back on his family, in favour for his girlfriend. Anyway, there just comes a time when you just have to put all that aside, for the sole reason that you're related. Family ties are important. That's my public service announcement for today.
But here are some other pictures I took this weekend.
Penny: The funniest looking dog ever. It's hard to tell from this head shot, but she's got this fat, long body, and short little legs, and along tail; sort of a weiner dog with hair.
This is my Aunt Nora, my grandfather, and my father
Hope you all had a good Mother's Day.
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Thursday, May 08, 2003
5 Things I've Learned Working with Seniors
1) Unlike your grandparents, they DON'T care about ANYTHING you have to say.
2) Talking about rectal cream is like talking about the weather.
3) Any variation on their daily routine is a cardinal sin.
4) If you live long enough, your family will buy you
one of these.
5) Even when you're old, you can still be an asshole.
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Wednesday, May 07, 2003
For a limited time only:
Gross French Guy. Funny, he never told me he's ORANGE.
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Yeah, I'm all proud of myself.
Go html!
And
this. A salute to Sarah's new car! Those Japanese are crazy about them dominoes, aren't they?
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